Day nine: paranoia

Well it's finally Friday. I am so happy about that I feel like I should be wearing a glittery dress and riding into the sunset on a unicorn. As predicted yesterday, today was good. Of course it was raining sideways most of the day and cold as November.

I have never lived in a place where the wind was so strong that the rain is actually horizontal. Umbrellas are really useless here. You just look like an idiot with an inside out umbrella getting even more wet because you're standing there struggling with a soon to be broken umbrella. Horizontal rain aside, good day!

I went for a Thai lunch with some fun girls from work. Ladies who lunch! That is US! I was in a spring roll coma the entire afternoon. It's my happy place. Nice break from all the salad and other healthy foods. Of course I'm going to have to have some serious Billy Blanks energy with the work out tomorrow to cancel it out. Which brings us to tonight's topic.

So, when I'm home alone I'm usually fine. I consider myself a fairly tough girl. No night light required. Well, I do make sure all closet and cupboard doors are shut because leaving them open is just stupid because everyone knows that's how goblins enter our realm. That's just common sense.

A couple nights ago however, I had a true moment of panic. I just finished up a work out and was all salty and gross. Shower was definitely needed. Now, I usually do the work out shower thing early in the evening but I switched it up so it was about 10:30 at night before I was heating up the shower to clean and jammie up.

Our bathroom is pretty big. The shower is separate from the bath, which is nice actually. The shower is a cubicle opposite the tub with a glass door. Nice set up even if it is a pain in the ass to clean every week. But I digress.

Shower is heated up and I'm in there de-stinking myself. Just as I cover my face with a foamy exfoliating scrub I hear it... Someone is walking around upstairs.

O_O What in the holy hell is that?

My heart pounds like a Transformer running down the street. The next five seconds my train of thought went something like this:

Fuck OK, someone is in the house.
I AM COVERED IN FOAM AND CAN'T SEE MY ATTACKER! *quick rinse and stedies feet*
Stay calm.
How can I be fucking calm!? I'm about to do karate naked!
It's OK I can take him, I'm a vicious naked fiery beast of Hell! *flexes*
Oh god what if I die and they find me in the bathroom and take pictures of my ass? >_<
I need to look now and try REALLY hard not to get killed. *wipes steam off glass*

I'm shaking slightly and I look through the wiped off part of the shower door. I am ready to take this bitch down, I know he's coming so I have the advantage. I feel slightly more confident even with the horror of potentially having to fight with out clothes. At least I'll be slippery and hard to grab on to. Another advantage. Look again... ready.

Nothing happens... it's totally quiet. Then I see it.

The goddamn cat was hiding in the bathtub and jumping out at Bean! She did it as I watched and I heard the same sound... like footsteps. The acoustics in the large bathroom mixed with the running shower water dulling my hearing a bit made it sound EXACTLY like someone walking upstairs.

I burst out laughing at how absurd the situation was... I couldn't help it. I'm such a noob. I rinsed the conditioner out of my hair and got out and promptly equipped jammies. Of course I was still shaken up so just to be sure I wasn't just hoping that was the answer, I checked the whole house ninja style. Sure I looked REAL scary in my baby blue fuzzy robe. :P

After that escapade I was left feeling uneasy. The home alone paranoia set in. My imagination is way too over active to have something like that happen. So, in true dork form, I got out the sword we have from the closet and put it next to the bed... Just in case. It's not even sharpened, but I could knock a burglar out if I had to or at least scare the shit out of him. Probably not many crazy ladies with sword skills on the Isle of Man.

So this evening as I was going about my evening routine I hear the footsteps again. Thankfully I was fully clothed at the time. I investigate the bathroom and the girls were at it again so I thought I'd make it today's kitty photo shoot. Their new fun game goes something like this from what I could gather:

Yuki enters the bath and waits for Bean to come sniffing around looking for her. Plays with the strange sheep thing hanging on the faucet until she comes.