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March 7, 2008

mayonnaise gnomes

So I got called out the other night (or week/month) by my new friend Alex for not updating. I almost forgot that I had a blog. I should probably re-design the layout as well as I very rarely attend meetings anymore and the ones I do have, no orcs participate thankfully.

I keep asking myself, "What prohibits me from writing... really?" I don't really get an answer I feel comfortable saying so I'll blame it on the mayonnaise gnomes. Don't ask. Oh, you asked anyway. I suppose I'll give an explanation a whirl. I loathe mayonnaise and if it's on a sammich, I cannot partake in eating it. I'm convinced that there are gnomes in the white, disgusting sammich goo who use their rusted picks to bang on the inside of your mouth until the said goo is spit out into the bin. It's true. You're eating a sammich right now with evil goo and you're scared now aren't you? You should be.

The lack of writing comes down to feeling like my creative fire is being slowly smothered out on a daily basis and what I do is never good enough. I know, emo. Big horned, furry, teary-eyed stupid emo in the wild... grazing on crap.

How stupid to think that way! Well, when being creative is your job and getting picked apart several times per day happens, it gets real hard. I am starting to see now that maybe if I try to be creative outside work instead of waiting for television to take my soul for good, I might make it after all. One post at a time! :D

So much has happened. Condensed OJ version with juicy bits!

January was my birthday and snow surprised me with a trip to Rome! Hey, if you cleaned up after him and cooked countless dinners, you'd get a trip too. All kidding aside, I'm a very lucky girl. I've been saying for years that I'd love to visit Italy and try the foods and see the sites and watch the folks on Vespas puttering around saying "Ciao!". It's a magical land. An expensive place of dreamy goodness. I had to have several personal dates with Billy Blanks to erase all that ravioli. Thanks Billy <3

I got me some gadgets!

I purchased an iPhone for the snow as a birthday gift. He loves it and I think he could have had some male-Italian-waiter booty the way they were fawning over it at restaurants when they saw him with it. They even whipped out their own phones to compare.

So dirty.

Well, he loves the phone. So much in fact that he never let me play with it or touch the bouncy buttons for more than 32 seconds before pulling it out my hands to "show me something". Apparently someone missed the sharing lessons of ages 3-30. If I wanted to poke weather and map thingies, I had no choice but to buy one for myself. However, I don't talk on the phone and no one really calls me. So I waited in the shadows like a ninja for the iPod Touch to get not-so-lame.

32GB iPod Touch. I found the page on the apple shop, clicked add to cart. I typed: "HI FLOOR! Make me a sammich!" in the engraving box and hit the HECK YES BUY NOW button. It's mine now and I can poke and break anything I want and no one can take it away!

I find the 32 gigawatt'er a bit constraining. I like to put every song I own on shuffle whilst working so I can get surprises hearing songs from aliens that I never heard or don't remember getting. Spices up the day.

It does all the fancy stuff the iPhone does, except no camera and I can certainly put it to my ear and talk to it, but there's no one on the other end to hang up on me. That suits me fine. I also like the lack of monthly bill. You do have to try and hack local wifi networks to get a connection, can't just google anytime the spark to strikes your fancy!

This is a side note after proofreading because I try an do that so my Mum will not make fun of me.

Is anyone but me noticing the vocabulary damage I've taken living in the UK? I called the trash the "bin" and I say reckon and sentences such as, I rather like this cup of tea I'm drinking!" whereas If I were still in the US, it would sound more like.... Hi there I'm compromised by ninjas, CONFIRM ALPHA OMEGA SPY SWITCHIE ACTION HERO CODE THINGIE TO MAKE MOVIE INTERESTING... HERE. GO!

Right we were discussing the iPod touch correct?

There are no games either. I rather liked solitaire on my dinosaur iPoo. Shame. It does have a touchie-slidie screen though, so I guess any negatives get cancelled out every time I pinch a picture and it gets bigger. I spent about 25 minutes pinch/release/pinch/release/pinch/release/pinch/release/pinch/release/big/small/big/small/big/small/... This would be the reason snow didn't let me play with the iPhone I reckon.

I had the bright idea of getting an appleTV. Sounded like a fantastic idea in theory. So, we went out and got it. Let me sum it up for you: I spent ₤300 on a cat ass warmer. What the hell am I talking about? Let me enlighten you to the unique ways of the iTV.

You dent your debit card and bring it home with a big ol' grin on your face. You watch your male partner in crime rip apart every electronic device in the house and re-wire it until his hands bleed to get the thing working.

He's really pleased with himself at this point, so I don't complain that the Wii and xbox don't work. DOESN'T MATTER. The glow of the tiny ready light on the sexy, silver newly acquired box on our entertainment center indicates success and the beginning of a new era of downloaded bliss!

We began our journey watching the new Terminator show, which is good fun. River is made of metal... not chocolate apparently.

Fast forward a few weeks later.....

The only one in the house that uses it is the cat. She LOVES it. She perches on top of it like a gargoyle as if she's downloading iTunes shows directly into her brain and she knows exactly who America's Next Top Model is before the rest of us do.

You don't believe me? Well here you go...



Kitten iBath. I think that's enough said about the apple TV. *grumble*

More later. Let's see if I can get this flowing again?

one love,
naku

PS: I'm desperate for new music... as in I'm hurting badly and if I hear one more repeated 3 year old song I'm going to scream. Unless it's Don't Falter, Butterfly, or Staring at the Sun... I've a soft spot for them. I need help. I know folks don't read this much anymore, but if you do and you want to pass on gems you have... mail me pls ;_; tehnaku(at) gmail.com

pss: Does anyone have a reasonable strategy to beat that asswipe BAEL in Devil May Cry 4? I'm about to can the game because I'm annoyed. I used all my orbs on heath juice and now I have nada and I'm stuck. I don't know what I'm doing wrong? He keeps biting me ;_; and his thespian twins come out and make me want to start fires with my mind because they're so pointless. Help!

Posted by naku at March 7, 2008 5:43 PM

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