I had a really lovely night tonight. It's 2:30am but I just can't bring myself to lay in bed and wake up to a new day yet. I'm liking this one too much and don't want to let it go.

There really wasn't anything profound that made today a good day. I think just sometimes certain days feel better than others.... for you and for everyone around you.

I spent a good part of the night playing FFXI with Rayj and snow and some new and funny folk. We camped and waited...... and waited. We failed but dammit we had a really nice time waiting for that bitch goblin. After, Rayj organized for us to fight some critter that would drop a spell for snow. I kind of would have been happy just sitting in the canyon with the bouncing flowers talking sheet but.... I guess people like to win things in game. We won, snow got his thing. Sleepga II.

I just had fun talking and being around nice folks. Rayj helped me get Fenrir and more importantly, kinda fills up those times in the game I stare at my moogle wondering why I'm there. It's kind of nice to find another person that plays who is truly honorable and helps out anyone that needs help. I really think that's what kept me in game. Why I stay.

I spent a good bit of the day with snow... who moved and is getting settled and I hope... getting back to that 'same shit different day' thing most of you out there take for granted.

I was really getting tired of feeling like a 'Stray cat on your roof' babe. I really did for so long. -_-

The pieces that fell apart... fit. I'm making them fit. I'm going to spend all the money I have to buy a plane ticket so I can get a hug from the man I love. I think the reason I'm so happy today is because I really realized.... how simple that idea is.

I made it out to be this big production... and yeah I need to get my birth certificate since mine got stolen by aliens or something.... and passport and some badge saying "I'm not a terrorist let me fly the sky! KTHXBYE". I'm scared. Not to fly.... scared I can get all my "yeah this is me now fsck off" documents in order. I have an ace in the hole though... my mum \/\/ Who some of you have read about heh. She and my sister are helping me storm the government so I can just have one hug... one kiss. That takes a lot of faith.... and I have to say that my family rawks in ways I never knew possible

Also, my mom has a pool. That also helps in these democratic discussions that take hours and hours >.>;

I'm going to just buy a ticket tomorrow. Rest of it will just have to work. I will not have money, I will probably loose the ghei job I have now, I will probably come home and have to start all over again from scratch but.... I'm cool with that. When your life is a vertigo.... just toss in some other stuff and see what happens is my theory. It may work, it may not. I'm happy to deal with both scenerios, as long as I get that one hug in the airport. It will be the one thing in my life as of late that doesn't have a big red "failure" stamp on. And well... love is more important than me having money, a dumb corporate job that's a bunch of horseshit disguised by a cute paycheck, more important than living a life with out you.

So.... yeah, guess I'm kind of giving up all my shit and fleeing for a hug. It doesn't surprise me since I'm pretty much the black sheep of the fam and can't do anything the easy way :) I hate the easy way. I like to work for the things that really mean something....

What other reason could we be here for? It's not to pay taxes and get fat on crap food.....I assure you ;) Take it from a dork like me who has not ONE thing figured out other than....

wanting that one hug.

Today is a good day.
ps.... it's too late to check this for typos and gramatical errors so get over it if you find one. :D one love