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March 24, 2005
I know the pieces fit.....
It's funny how a 1.5 hour work out, followed by a long bath surrounded by candles and Lateralus (Tool) can really put your life into perspective. This will be an odd rant, just to warn you now.
The gamers out there that possibly read this? Perhaps you can relate. I work all day, constant stress from orcs relentlessly wanting more and more than I can possibly achieve in a day. I come home... I log in to my game (FFXI) and I escape. I play until it is late and I know I need to sleep. Rinse, Repeat.
I can't do this anymore. I love games and value their worth probably more than anyone out there. They have served me well. The price I paid unfortunately is... I lost myself a little bit. I know a few of you read this... though not sure many of you actually know much about me. I was a trained fighter. I fought and lived my life for nothing else than to improve my strength and agility. It's very similar to the desire to skill up in the game mentioned above. Life living alone... my focus to be strong and forgive the adjective "badass" in real life... was replaced by being strong and superior in another fashion. In a game. And I forgot my true passion.
Recently, I have gone back to training as I did a year or so ago. I was a bit psycho in how I was pushing my body many moons ago. I was training an hour in the morning, 2 hours in the evening and eating like a new born bird. This time around since there is no competition and I have no foes to face every sunday afternoon... I'm sticking to a solid 1-1.5 hours per day to train my body and eating proper to coincide with the stress I'm putting on my body.
I have to say it feels good. It feels good to step away from the glowing screen that once brought me such comfort and kick serious ass. I will... it took one bath with my favorite album to see... things just are not right.
So... any of you out there that could read this... you only have one body in this life, don't waste it. My inspiration? Yes I would like to touch on that as well...
Any of you that have read anything I've had to say out there.. know I 'know' my music. I explore every genre, listen to it all with an extremely open mind. Hell, I watched that er... what's it called... *thinks* shit I had to google it :I well, I watched it last night. It was called "Nashville Star" on the usa network. I'm not a fan of country but I like to see talented people. They sang.. they were brilliant as far as that genre goes... and I thought, people out there must eat this stuff up like it's chocolate from chocolate world hehe.
My point is this: People find inspiration in all different places. I personally have chosen the album Lateralus by Tool. Those that have met me in real life (probably cuz I've picked their foreign asses up from the airport with the exception of snowchyld lol in which I have picked his HOT™ ass, and would any day from the airport.) know that the only promotional sticker I have on my car is Tool. Maybe I should clarify why.......?
I have listened to many albums...... more than the average person. I honestly consider myself a completely open person when it comes to music. And so I collect... collect and listen. HIp Hop, hardcore, metal, pop, dub, ska,, DJ shit....... I dig all the good stuff and appreciate it as art. Anyone that comes up to me and asks me what my favorite album is of all time.... I'd never hesitate. It is Tool - Lateralus..
Why? I'll say that only a very, very few people "get" that album. That album has been much needed bullets in an empty gun for me when my life has seemed lost.. I put it on.. lay on the floor and think. And I always come to a beautiful compromise with where my life is. I'm not saying this album is magic... I'm saying it is magic to me.. It is what I need when I feel lost. The art and production is perfect in my brain. Some may look at Dali work and think it's shit.. some look and think it explains everything. For that very reason I can't expect any of you to understand this album for me.
Lateralus... whether it be with headphones laying on the floor staring at the ceiling... or covered in bubbles, vegging in the bath after a work out..... this album has driven me. I think mostly because as an artist I am envious that "art" can inflict such emotion and pattern of thought.. It inspires me.. I want to create, I want to confuse, I want to hurt an old wound, I want to create. I want to create. I want to create. <-- the most powerful tool ever provided to the lost artist.
In closing... if you don't understand Tool (which I know so many don't yet) please listen to me..... I'll never pour my heart in a rant like this again.......
mission: Get a copy of Tool - Lateralus. (easy part duh slsk) then comes the hard part. Listen to the masterpiece in a particular fashion. I stress this so much so you see what I see :I
ok... breathe...... lay on the floor staring at the ceiling
listen to it..... from start to finish.... it is a complete work of art..... the art they produced was meant to be heard from start to finish... and it is astonishing
just listen
I am touched by few artists on a personal level... Ralph B., Tool,,Leo D.. Salv D. <-- People who "get it"
I hope some day you get it.......Please try.
So familiar and overwhelmingly warm
This one, this form I hold now.
Embracing you, this reality here,
This one, this form I hold now, so
Wide eyed and hopeful.
Wide eyed and hopefully wild.
We barely remember what came before this precious moment,
Choosing to be here right now. Hold on, stay inside...
This body holding me, reminding me that I am not alone in
This body makes me feel eternal. All this pain is an illusion.
~for drew, I love you
Posted by naku at March 24, 2005 1:13 AM
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Comments
That's some deep thoughts. And pretty much exactly what I needed to hear. I've been getting myself motivated to get back into martial arts and to be in shape in general. Thanks.
Posted by: Vagabond at March 24, 2005 3:09 AM
I am quite the fan of Tool aswell... my favourite album from them is Lateralus aswell. I find the music quite inspirational, aswell as the lyrics. I never really noticed how deep they were unti i decided to check them out a while ago. But recently (umm like last four months or so) i have been getting into A Perfect Circle aswell. Maynard is the lead singer for both of the bands so thats probably why i like it so much. At first i never really listened to APC even though i had it on my powerbook, but one day i just let it play through my music and all of a sudden im like WOAH where'd this song come from?? Now APC and Tool are the bands i look to if i ever need inspiration... or just need something to chill out to :D
Posted by: Elliot Anderson at March 24, 2005 8:23 AM
Well done! Its always good to get back to your passions, I took a 6 year hiatus from mine and now I'm back it and _so_ glad I made that decision.
Posted by: Codemonkey 
at March 24, 2005 9:59 AM
Naku, it's nice to know you're aiming to be able to whoop most peoples ass' irl aswell as in games, very nice indeed. And Parabol/Parabola back to back, amazingly beautiful tracks.
Posted by: Teh Ash. at March 24, 2005 5:43 PM
I listen to quite a bit of tool as well... started listening to them around 1997ish Aenima (can't make the quirky symbol =P) was my favorite then, but I pretty much like alot of their albums. Listening to their music certainly "takes me back" to the old days =D
Posted by: Garkin at March 25, 2005 6:46 PM
Deep it is indeed. And oh so true. The computer/console/game/whatever being your only friend throughout the years. Always tough to get yourself to stop doing what you love most, even tho you know that its no good for you.
The Song that absolutely describes me in front of a pc is Keine Lust by Rammstein. I know that I should get my ass up and do what I have to do but I still think: Whatever can do that later, at the same time being bored by sitting in front of the stupid thing repeating what I've been doing for ages. Vicious Circle sth.
Gonna get the Tool CD sounds like good stuff and im currently bored by the music I have...
Posted by: FunGun at March 27, 2005 9:13 AM
That's quite an epiphany youve had there, naku. I wouldnt be able to share something like that with the world I think. It's good that youre doing what you want though. Don't completely give up gaming though, as long as you love it. That's just my sugggestion.
Posted by: sharkdog@sugarshock.net at March 29, 2005 5:56 AM
Hey there, theres no need to approve this its just a message. I have liked tool for a long time. It is 5am, i was listening to music, just about to go to sleep. on a whim I decided to google "I know the peices fit"... The album is magic, not just to you. There is too much coincidence to go into, the words you quoted above were running repeatedly through my head 2 nights ago, I looked through your site, even things unrelated to tool were strangely similar to my thoughts over the last few days in too many ways. Im searching for a word: the point at which many lines meet. Damn thesaurus never helps. If tool means the same things to you as it does to me you will know what i mean. I dont spend much time on the net, but I bothered creating a typekey account to say this. Im still right here giving blood keeping faith
Posted by: none at October 24, 2005 11:10 AM
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