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February 9, 2005
Hope..
It's one of those things I find myself thinking about a lot. Do people still believe in it or is it just another word tossed around. What happens when you forget about it? I worry that the day to day grind makes people forget about hope. That it's easier to just deal with it and be meh than make something change. I'm so guilty of this. Not sure I can keep doing this design thing. None of it is making me feel like I'm creating something worthwhile. Just stupid logos for stupid corporate idiots that pick it apart until it's well... shit.
I get so consumed by this tech-fake art that when I actually sit down to draw something I can't. I don't believe in my hands holding a pencil. I want so much to create things that will make you smile that it blocks me more when it turns out like ass. I'm not sure how to fix my brain reguarding this situation or where I need to find inspiration. Maybe I'm on the computer too much. Maybe it's winter depression setting in and not being outside. Maybe I just miss hugging someone since I haven't in months. Maybe it's corporate horseshit that wore me down to nothing. Maybe I have misplaced hope?
I sure hope not. hehe.
It's times like these I wish my damn super powers would kick in so I could just go fight crime or something worthwhile. Bah. *skips off to find some gamma rays and poke spiders*
I'm sure things will even out eventually. Gonna start thowing my resume out all over the country and see what happens. You know you need to take a step back when you're up after midnight and a commercial for some tech school offering an "exciting career in criminal justice" actually looked appealing. Well to my defense there were vicious barking dogs and guns and a cool badge haha! Anyway, back to the orcs. Just needed a small vent.
Rawrs
Posted by naku at February 9, 2005 2:42 PM
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Comments
You're not alone. A lot of people I know are very much in the winter blahs. Of course, maybe it's the dark day that is my birthday approaching sucking all hope from the universe. :)
Oh, and yeah, I hate to say it, but yeah, those tech schools have made me think from time to time, gee, maybe there IS good money to be made in the world of Gun Repair?...
Posted by: stu 
at February 9, 2005 3:21 PM
I know exactly how you feel Naku, in fact, I'm feeling that way right now. Its comforting to know I'm not alone, even though its better to be the only one feeling bad, cause all the people feeling good can be quite an encouragement. We'll get over it with time and good gaming!
Posted by: The Dahlberg at February 9, 2005 5:09 PM
Wow... Serious rant from teh Naku. As for hope, the best you can do is try to place it in something you really care about. You're probably just feeling under the weather. Things should start looking up soon enough, at least that's how it is with me. If not, the best you can do is try to find something more fullfilling to do with your life (be it leveling up in FFXI or persuing a career on CSI). Easier said than done though. Right? And as for your art, you're kinda starting to sound like Fred Gallager (no offense, I love the dude). This http://naku.org/images/happybirthdayaing.gif made me laugh, as I'm sure it did others.
BTW, poking spiders isn't as fun as it sounds...
Posted by: Kold at February 9, 2005 7:27 PM
I work in an ad agency in Baltimore. I'm not a graphic artist but I work in a room full of them. Every day I see how the 'grind' of client driven design slowly whittles away the creativity these artists have. It's kind of sad to watch this happen. I hope you find your super powers again and can pick up that pencil with hope and confidence.
One thing I found out early on in life, to be truly happy requires a lot of freaking work.
Posted by: Phaethon at February 10, 2005 12:04 PM
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