Today I let something bother me that ordinarily I wouldn't bat a lash over. I pride myself on being reasonable, tough and most importantly, honorable. I'm troubled why something so petty and seemingly small would throw me off my game so much. I also am choosing this place to vent about it because I have no other outlet.

I wonder sometimes if people ignore things they don't want to see... or if I have a gift to see right through what people are trying to do. I'm thinking the latter. This may seem cryptic to anyone that so happens to read this, but hopefully will hit home to those that have a front row seat.

I have trouble trusting or seeing the good aspect of people when I know exactly what they are up to. I know it's human nature to hold a facade for show to gain what you want. An entire side of my family is filled with people that have been pulling this shit off for years. It doesn't fly with me. I just wish people would be honest with themselves and think about honor. Think about what is right.

Today... I was tested and I failed. At least I think I failed. My passive nature was really what was tested and my initial reaction was to pull myself away, assess the situation, deal with it honorably. That is what I always do yet... this time I felt hopeless in doing the right thing. Do I say I don't care? It doesn't bother me. Take that tough gangstah attitude I always do? Yeah that works... fsck it. Better everyone is happy and I go to bed staring at the ceiling par usual. What really sucks is that I would rather everyone else peaceful and me in turmoil. That's my curse... I'm fine with it.

I know this is cryptic... I can't help that. This is more for me that anyone else out there I'm sorry to say. I am just bothered with the human race today... for I know them better than they know themselves and it sucks. I wish I were an idiot sometimes... that I saw nothing but pretty things on TV, etc. I can't change what I am.. and I hope you know that. I can however shed light and maybe it will break through.

Now I go off to stare at the ceiling.
Love,
Naku

PS. shout out to mah man Mastah P for talkin to me and being the best friend evah... 0ne love hehe

And currrent home made naku mix playing is:

NAKU DRIVES HOME ALONE
1. Else - Built to Spill
2. Metarie - Brendan Benson
3. Silo Lullaby - Toad the Wet Sprocket
4. Careful Where you Stand - Coldplay
5. Everything you Need - Adem
6. Making Friends and Acuquaintances - Cursive
7. Keep What Ya God - Ian Brown
8. Wonderwall - Ryan Adams
9. Ruby Over Diamonds - Kashmir
10. Panda - Mew
11. Where I End and You Begin - Radiohead
12. Check the Meaning - Richard Ashcroft
13. Oscillate Wildly - The Smiths
14. Love Will Tear Us Apart - Squarepusher
15. No Sleep - Sam Roberts