The dread pirate curse: naku tale one

I'm going to delve into uncharted territory now and discuss the inner workings of teh naku. I find myself thinking a lot about why people are the way they are. Some say it's how you grew up, your parents influence, your surroundings etc. I'm not really sure I agree with this entirely. To a degree yes. But take for instance the example of siblings. My sister is nothing like me. There are similarities in our views of some things but for the most part we have always been different even at a young age. She wanted make up, I wanted to send away for Mossman and Stink0r the He Man figures that well.... stank! (any people that collected these should be laughing their asses off now)

I wonder if the interests you take up as a kid mold you into the adult you walk around as years later? I was the kind of kid that would mark off the days on the calendar until my favorite comic would show up in the local store. That was my big day. I was quiet and observant. My issues of Heathcliff were treated as precious commodities not to be touched by any human being other than myself. I still have all of those comics and smile every time I look at them all yellowed and frail now.

My sister was more outgoing. Always talking even when she had nothing to say. I didn't have much air time so to speak so I just listened. Even from the time as a toddler I was incredibly passive and generous so my Mom tells me. My sister would take all my money I had saved saying she'd pay me back and never did. If a friend liked one of my toys or stickers I would simply give it to them. I was attracted to the good toys like Thundercats, Transformers, Voltron, He-Man etc. and not the crappy ones in the terrifying "pink aisle" which still gives me the shivers to this day. And thus begins the story of the dread pirate cool chick.

The cool chick. What exactly does that mean? Well, I've been called that quite a bit over the years. Each time I get that label I get a crooked smile and a vulcan eyebrow raise. I take it as a compliment but there is a lot of angst associated with this title. Allow me to explain.

The cool chick is interested in sitting around with her buddies and talking about kung fu and old toys from way back when. She reads PSM, Game Informer, Mac Addict... not Glamour, [insert other girlie trash magazines here]. If at a party and there are dudes playing Tekken or some other fighting game... when handed a controller she cracks her knuckles, grabs it and gives a good run for the adversary's money and without button mashing. She finds a night holding hands through the arcade, playing silly 2 player shooting games the most romantic thing ever. She wants to go to the comic shop more than you do. This all sounds great right? So why the angst?

I can sum it up by saying that in most cases of romance... when the cool chick admits there are feelings other than that buddy feeling the result is 99.8% this: "Man, you're like the coolest chick ever. I wouldn't want to date you because you're ehm.. too cool. I could end up being a dick and then we couldn't hang out anymore. You're like... one of the guys to me which is more important than just some girl. I just don't want to fsck up our friendship."

And so I nod and smile and act like it's no big thaang because no one knows she goes to bed clutching a stuffed rabbit trying not to cry. Yeah fine I admit it.. fsck off suckahs I AM a girl ffs >_

It's funny because I'm sure if any guy actually reads this they'll be shaking their head saying NUUUUU that's horseshit Wang! Well, I hate to break it to ya guys but this has happened to me so many times after a while you just laugh and smile that crooked smile. The same guys end up going out and dating these beautiful model type, bubble-head grrls that think Metal Gear refers to the jewelry they're wearing. I know there are guys out there that care about more than just pretty... but, I apparently just had horrible luck in who I decided to dig on. That's on me I suppose.

Anyway, it causes you to do silly things like play FFXI for 6 months and never leave your house other than work, grocery store, game store. I just didn't care anymore. For the first time in my life I was pissed I was born into this cool chick persona. I was tired of guys falling for girls that were ridiculously annoying or half the time fscking psycho bitches on wheels. Girls I couldn't stand to be in the same room with for more than 2.5 minutes with out wanting to claw my ears off and smash them into the carpet. The only joy I got was hanging out with my buddies and these said girls would eye me up and burn with jealousy that I could 'hang' and they didn't know what the hell we were talking about half the time. If those girls only knew they had nothing to worry about. I wasn't going to tell them since that was the only pleasure I took in the whole sorted situation. Hehe. HIdden girl-gamer-angst-drama.... how ridiculous! :D

The end of this story though is that there is hope for the cool chick though. After 2+ years of this kind of lonely nonsense I've decided to take off the pikachu slipper-FFXI-recluse ways and try to find true love. Recent events have made me aware that there are people that appreciate and can truly love a girl who is like a dude but not a dude. Funny how someone you meet and fall in love with can completely change your life. So all I can say to wrap this winded, boring-ass story up is a nice, dreamy quote: "I am hope"

I love you snow and I don't care who knows.
~the end~